current obsession: heaven sent honey
some thoughts on beauty
Recently stumbled on Heaven Sent Honey (named after a line in a 2008 James Bond theme song), the YouTube channel of Celine Moser, and I’m obsessed!
She makes videos about beauty, art, fashion, decorating, solitude, the “trashy” aesthetic, and femininity, among other things. She’s proudly an aesthete, unapologetic about pursuing beauty—not in the Kardashian sense (which I’d argue isn’t actually beauty at all) but rather the look-at-these-cool-shadows, stick-wine-bottle-corks-on-the-wall sense. Simplicity. It reminds me of going to Italy in college: drinking good cheap wine, being in love with discovery and new sensory experiences and art museums. Not in a pretentious way (ok, maybe a little; I was 20!) but with deep reverence for the sights and smells and tastes of everything, no matter how mundane.
She’s a student of art and design, and it shows. She appreciates old issues of Italian Vogue back when it was about famous photographers shooting artistically interesting editorials instead of just promoting celebrities (ahem, Anna Wintour). She’s into romanticizing the boring parts of your life, living slowly, savoring small rituals like arranging roadside wildflowers in a thrifted vase.
I have really mixed feelings about beauty. I HATE HATE HATE when people say “Everyone is beautiful!” because that’s patently untrue (especially when the person is trying to, like, “console” someone fat or otherwise not conventionally attractive and validate their existence). The issue isn’t that everyone is beautiful (eyeroll) but that beauty shouldn’t be required to receive basic respect and human decency. No one owes anyone else beauty. No one should have to be desirable or attractive or fuckable or nice to obtain decent housing, food, clean water, etc. (Related: the “housing first” model of addressing homelessness, which doesn’t force people to be substance-free before getting shelter.)
So for a long time, I was like, beauty sucks! I really appreciate Celine’s videos about the trashy aesthetic because celebrating trashiness pokes fun at classist, sexist expectations for women to be elegant and quiet and clean and rich. Trashiness is about celebrating being tacky, cheap, over the top, loud, and messy. It’s a fuck you to wealth and elitism. (Is it problematic due to fetishizing poverty? I’m still figuring that out. Discuss.)
Anyway, Celine’s videos on the trashy aesthetic helped me come to terms with beauty. They were the gateway drug. I kind of hate to say it, but I love beauty! The silhouette of trees against the sky on a summer night is magical. Fuckin’ sunsets and clouds, man! There’s so much beauty not only in nature but also in stuff like dripping candle wax, shadows and light, a ripe strawberry, a tiny green glass bottle of Perrier sipped slowly while doodling in your sketchbook.
I think I resisted beauty for so long because it’s hard to embrace (and write about) without feeling and sounding very cringe, earnest, girly, and 2014 Tumblr. (Maybe part of that is my own internalized sexism and societal pressure to be snarky and edgy. I dunno, it’s weird.) Anyway, Celine’s videos feel so healing (for lack of a less cheesy word) to my inner child, reassuring her it’s OK to love poetry and romance and sincerity. Loving beauty doesn’t have to mean discriminating against people who aren’t beautiful!
Maybe I can love beauty, fashion, design, balance, contrast, and all that without feeling vain or frivolous or ignoring stuff like war and inequality. I sure hope so. If nothing else, Celine’s videos have inspired me to stop buying shitty furniture/decor from the likes of Wayfair, do more DIYs/start sewing more, find inspiration in old Hollywood glamour, slow down, care less about trends, and look for beauty among free experiences and thrifted stuff. Simple living. The broke art student aesthetic! :)